Luc Nicon

Children are our future. It is up to us to offer them the absolute best conditions to enable them to build the most exciting future possible.

This, of course, depends on the quality of education that we provide them, and we certainly have great progress to make in this to preserve and develop their creativity, their openness to ideas, to others, and to their environment. But our current system of optimised education does not seem to understand what it takes to shape a future that lives up to what we want for our children. More than knowledge or know-how, it is their « knowing how to be » that will allow them to make the best use of their potential. Clearly, it is inside of them that they must work to get rid of what has encumbered us and prevented us from making the world as we had dreamed. And deep down, we know that it is our fears that cut us off from our momentum.

When we are confident, venturing, exploring, discovering, reaching out to others. Learning or creating is as the expression goes, child’s play. Unfortunately, our children have little chance to practice this, or they have too much fun in the virtual world; Video games allow them to experience the world without directly confronting it, protecting them from their fears. As we have done, our children are built by shrinking. They seek their way by carefully avoiding what scares them, by rejecting a good part of what their existence offers them.

Some people will never ski, for example, because they are afraid of falling, of being cold, of being ridiculous, of not being able to do so; others will remain in their corner because they are shy, because they are afraid of being rejected or of not knowing what to say, and that they consider themselves without interest for others; still others will never express themselves fully as they are terrorized when they have to expose themselves, speak in front of their comrades or adults; conversely, others who express themselves well will not manage, despite everything, to integrate into a team as their fear of being contradicted, of not being respected, of losing their place, leads them to aggression or anger. Others will remain forever closed to certain knowledge such as mathematics and will deprive themselves of jobs that they would have liked because their brain become confused and freezes at the mere sight of an equation. And the list could go on and on. In any case, little by little, everyone will finally choose their activities and relationships according to what scares them the least, whatever produces the least unpleasant emotions. Indeed, contrary to what we are used to thinking, most children do not focus on pleasure but on what secures them. And therein lies a tremendous opportunity for evolution.

Imagine children who would no longer suffer from their fears. They would enthusiastically experience the possibilities that life offers them and their learning capacity would increase tenfold. In fact, they would no longer be built out of fear but out of possibilities.

So, how do you silence the fears? The question is not new. Many techniques and many specialists try to provide answers. And often, taking care of a child in difficulty leads to a convincing result. The downside is that these interventions are aimed primarily at children with « big problems ». These consultations rarely concern the fearful, the anxious, the introverts, the inhibited, the dreamers, the aggressive, the complex and so many others who painfully build themselves with these daily burdens. The expression of these “common” fears is often mocked, which inevitably reinforces them.

However, all these fears can be considered and treated very simply. It is useless, as it has been done for a long time, to fight against their effects or to try to frame them, to manage them, but, conversely, we must accept them, let them « cross » us.
When we feel a fear, a disturbing emotion, we feel unpleasant sensations in different parts of our body: the knotted throat, the oppressed chest, the heart that accelerates or tightens, the stomach tense, swollen or irritated, the head as if taken in a vice or empty, or pulled back, legs stretched or all limp, shoulders that burn, etc. Depending on the situation, these sensations manifest themselves differently. The same person may experience difficulty swallowing, heartburn and trembling legs as they enter a sports field to play a game, and pain in the temples, blocked lungs or the heavy heart that panics at the moment of separation. These groups of sensations indicate distinct fears. The same fear always produces the same sensations.

To regulate your fears, you just have to take into account these “physical” sensations and let them evolve, transform themselves, let them do it, without control, with a leap of faith, until they disappear. It’s very fast: 30 to 40 seconds on average for adults, and even faster for children. Above all, the emotional barrier disappears forever.

In 2007, a study carried out on nearly 300 people largely validated this phenomenon. Since then, more than 2,500 professionals carry out 10,000 consultations per month worldwide using this process. And today, probably more than 50,000 people apply it for themselves in complete autonomy.

This natural capacity is universal: it is possible for everyone, whatever the culture. You just have to be careful to stay connected to your sensations and not take charge of them, for example by controlling your breathing or by trying to calm them mentally. (This training video is available in French for adults and adolescents)

How to make this natural resource available to a 2-year-old child? Even if they understood our explanations, until the age of 9, an adaptation is necessary to allow them to access the process. It is by placing their hands on their body, where they feel sensations, and by following the evolution of these sensations, always with their hands, that they can easily use their natural capacity to regulate their fears and their emotions. And it’s quite amazing: after having experienced the process once or twice, the little ones integrate it perfectly and use it spontaneously, by themselves.

It remains to teach them when an emotional disturbance occurs, the instant it occurs. In fact, to learn, children must feel, experience “for real”. This presupposes being present in situations where they are in emotional difficulties. Very short training courses are now available to enable parents (and professionals who supervise children on a daily basis) to provide this education themselves to their children.

It is truly a revolution. By also shedding fears that reduce their potential and knowing how to face those that will arise in their future, our children will naturally gain confidence in themselves, in life.

And what if, when our children have grown up, the world is no longer ruled by fear?